Sometimes I wonder if people know what I mean by my blog title...just in case you don't, I'll tell you :) I also just realized that I have no idea who "you" is referring to cause I have no idea who actually reads this, if anyone..
Piper says that "brokenhearted joy" should be the defining reality of a believer's life this side of heaven.
He wrote in World magazine, "But our joy is a brokenhearted joy because Christ is worthy of so much better obedience than we Christians render. Our joy is a brokenhearted joy because so many people around the world have not heard the good news that "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners" (1 Timothy 1:15). And our joy is a brokenhearted joy because human culture—in every society—dishonors Christ, glories in its shame, and is bent on self-destruction."
I just found this quote and it really resonates tonight after going to small group with the core group starting the church plant that I'm a part of...We talked about community and how we can be plugged into the community and really knowing and loving people in Morrisville...“The salt of the earth does not mock rotting meat. Where it can, it saves and seasons. And where it can't, it weeps. And the light of the world does not withdraw, saying ‘good riddance’ to godless darkness. It labors to illuminate. But not dominate. . . . We don't own culture, and we don't rule it. We serve it with brokenhearted joy.”...The more I think about the reality of this church plant and the caliber of people that I'm in this with, I'm just extremely humbled and just plain excited about seeing what God has already done and is going to do in and through us! to Him be the glory!
It was nice to catch up on life today a little...Copper got a bath, I ran some errands, did laundry, stocked the cabinets, worked on the budget, got my hair cut...lots of random stuff that did not get done before I left for the beach :)
ok, I should stop writing and go to bed..
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
at the beach
so, I've been challenged inadvertently by a new friend to blog way more often than I do. By reading my blog, you'd have no idea how much I actually love to express myself in words and share my life with people. maybe I prefer to do it face-to-face but with the amount of time I spend on the computer, I should be at least doing something that I know is therapeutic and helpful rather than wasteful.
Right now, I'm at the beach with my pseudo-family..aka my best friend's family that has adopted me into theirs and lets me come on the family beach trip every year :) it's wonderful..and such a blessing to be known and loved by them. Shan asked me this morning if I was relaxed yet and I just couldn't answer honestly with a yes..I'm getting there but there's just so much on my mind and on my heart that I haven't gotten to process over the past month of working, hanging out, and just plain being busy..Don't get me wrong, I love my life, sometimes I just forget that I still need a break every once in a while..usually I don't realize that I need one until someone forces me to take one and then I'm overwhelmed with a sense of how much I needed it.
So far on this trip, I've been overwhelmed by the Lord's love for me. I've gotten sweet time with Jesus to just be near Him and think about His truth and beg Him to allow it to transform and affect me to the core of who I am...I've been listening to Mark Driscoll who never fails to challenge me and encourage me and help me know more of Jesus...He has a series on Proverbs and it's awesome so far..In the second sermon, he talks about pursuing out deepest desires rather than being so easily satisfied by things that aren't really what we want in our hearts..He quotes C.S. Lewis (a favorite) when he talks about our desires being far too small, we are far too easily pleased..when I think about the things that I ask and expect of the Lord, I am ashamed often of the lack of faith that I have in Him to do mighty things that I can't even imagine..I want to learn to ask for BIG things and expect Him to blow me away!
I have more thoughts but we're headed to dinner so I'm taking a break..
Right now, I'm at the beach with my pseudo-family..aka my best friend's family that has adopted me into theirs and lets me come on the family beach trip every year :) it's wonderful..and such a blessing to be known and loved by them. Shan asked me this morning if I was relaxed yet and I just couldn't answer honestly with a yes..I'm getting there but there's just so much on my mind and on my heart that I haven't gotten to process over the past month of working, hanging out, and just plain being busy..Don't get me wrong, I love my life, sometimes I just forget that I still need a break every once in a while..usually I don't realize that I need one until someone forces me to take one and then I'm overwhelmed with a sense of how much I needed it.
So far on this trip, I've been overwhelmed by the Lord's love for me. I've gotten sweet time with Jesus to just be near Him and think about His truth and beg Him to allow it to transform and affect me to the core of who I am...I've been listening to Mark Driscoll who never fails to challenge me and encourage me and help me know more of Jesus...He has a series on Proverbs and it's awesome so far..In the second sermon, he talks about pursuing out deepest desires rather than being so easily satisfied by things that aren't really what we want in our hearts..He quotes C.S. Lewis (a favorite) when he talks about our desires being far too small, we are far too easily pleased..when I think about the things that I ask and expect of the Lord, I am ashamed often of the lack of faith that I have in Him to do mighty things that I can't even imagine..I want to learn to ask for BIG things and expect Him to blow me away!
I have more thoughts but we're headed to dinner so I'm taking a break..
Sunday, September 27, 2009
lovers bold in broken places
i love this quote:
We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. "We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home." -twloha
This weekend was amazing! sweet time of teaching and sitting under the Word and great fellowship with some really fun people :) I got to hear Corey speak for the first time..I loved it, which is good considering he's gonna be my pastor for probably quite a while..this church plant thing is gonna be awesome! the Lord is rocking our faces off with His faithfulness in this..praise the Lord for what He's doing with His church..and that He lets us be a part of it..One of the things Corey said that I love is "the effects of true intimacy with Jesus is alignment with His purposes and freedom in His presence"..what a sweet truth..
I'm so thankful for times like retreats to worship and be renewed and refreshed and reminded of the ways that the Lord has blessed me...it's really incredible...
I discovered a new favorite activity...singing karaoke with a certain 4 people and an iphone after midnight...talk about good for the heart..
also, nerts is still a favorite. especially when i win :)
ok, time for a sunday afternoon nap before a fun dinner with friends!
We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. "We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home." -twloha
This weekend was amazing! sweet time of teaching and sitting under the Word and great fellowship with some really fun people :) I got to hear Corey speak for the first time..I loved it, which is good considering he's gonna be my pastor for probably quite a while..this church plant thing is gonna be awesome! the Lord is rocking our faces off with His faithfulness in this..praise the Lord for what He's doing with His church..and that He lets us be a part of it..One of the things Corey said that I love is "the effects of true intimacy with Jesus is alignment with His purposes and freedom in His presence"..what a sweet truth..
I'm so thankful for times like retreats to worship and be renewed and refreshed and reminded of the ways that the Lord has blessed me...it's really incredible...
I discovered a new favorite activity...singing karaoke with a certain 4 people and an iphone after midnight...talk about good for the heart..
also, nerts is still a favorite. especially when i win :)
ok, time for a sunday afternoon nap before a fun dinner with friends!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
rejoice!
where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom...
I've been learning about prayer...reading about what TK calls "mini-pentecosts," deposits of the Spirit and the power that is involved...our God is so creative :) throughout history, the revival that is rooted in corporate prayer is remarkable...oh that we would pray together...all the "mini-pentecosts" in scripture have 2 things in common...first that there is a continual need to renew the fullness of the Spirit, and second that the fullness is generally connected to prevailing prayer, especially in the face of a challenge...why is there need for renewal? we keep forgetting the goodness of our God and worshipping other people and things..we keep looking for rest for our souls in relationships and money and "security" instead of in the only place we will ever find rest for our souls..
"my soul finds rest in God ALONE" ps.62
3 of my best friends are coming to visit this weekend :) my sister Alisa is coming and I'm so excited to see her and spend time with her, it's been way too long...i love knowing her...Rachel's coming, too...we've been through so much together, our friendship has taken quite the beating and now it's a beautiful picture of the grace of God and the reality of the gospel, commitment and a relationship that's not about how you feel but about Jesus goes a long way in the face of struggle...Becca's coming, too...she was my first best friend at PC, we were suitemates...and then we were roommates and we've fought through some really hard things and had to be really honest with each other, and we've learned so much about grace and life and joy that is found in Jesus...it's especially fun that she's coming since she's been in China for 2 years! it's nice to be within driving distance.. not that thousands of miles and 6 plane rides stopped me :)
I love my new apartment. and my new roommates. so much. there'll be more words for that later...right now I'm just enjoying it :)
time to get ready for a nap...yay for working nights!
I've been learning about prayer...reading about what TK calls "mini-pentecosts," deposits of the Spirit and the power that is involved...our God is so creative :) throughout history, the revival that is rooted in corporate prayer is remarkable...oh that we would pray together...all the "mini-pentecosts" in scripture have 2 things in common...first that there is a continual need to renew the fullness of the Spirit, and second that the fullness is generally connected to prevailing prayer, especially in the face of a challenge...why is there need for renewal? we keep forgetting the goodness of our God and worshipping other people and things..we keep looking for rest for our souls in relationships and money and "security" instead of in the only place we will ever find rest for our souls..
"my soul finds rest in God ALONE" ps.62
3 of my best friends are coming to visit this weekend :) my sister Alisa is coming and I'm so excited to see her and spend time with her, it's been way too long...i love knowing her...Rachel's coming, too...we've been through so much together, our friendship has taken quite the beating and now it's a beautiful picture of the grace of God and the reality of the gospel, commitment and a relationship that's not about how you feel but about Jesus goes a long way in the face of struggle...Becca's coming, too...she was my first best friend at PC, we were suitemates...and then we were roommates and we've fought through some really hard things and had to be really honest with each other, and we've learned so much about grace and life and joy that is found in Jesus...it's especially fun that she's coming since she's been in China for 2 years! it's nice to be within driving distance.. not that thousands of miles and 6 plane rides stopped me :)
I love my new apartment. and my new roommates. so much. there'll be more words for that later...right now I'm just enjoying it :)
time to get ready for a nap...yay for working nights!
Friday, June 12, 2009
i sent one of my favorite patients home today :( i'm glad she gets to go home, just sad for myself cause i don't get to hang out with her whenever i want...
i had a great day at work...not very busy...just mostly fun..
i love my job.
i'm going to see becca tomorrow...i hope i can still get packed in time to move next saturday!
i love my family..
i had a great day at work...not very busy...just mostly fun..
i love my job.
i'm going to see becca tomorrow...i hope i can still get packed in time to move next saturday!
i love my family..
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
busy day
i was doing so well today..until i found the chocolate cake in the fridge...it was getting dry, someone needed to eat it :) yum!
today was an insane day at the hospital...i started out with 5 kids (not too bad usually) but they were all pretty med heavy around the 8-9 o'clock hour so that got me started running...then one of my kids was scheduled to leave around 10 so paperwork had to be done for him and of course they scheduled a PICC placement on my other kid at the same time and needed me to do conscious sedation all while another kid was getting circumcised...whew! thankfully, the PICC got postponed because of someone else's mis-communication...i love it when it's not my fault! so then in the midst of all this, they call me for report on a new kid i was getting...meanwhile, they're altering the orders on all of my kids...crazy whirlwind of madness! AND an interviwee was shadowing me, which was great but i felt bad cause it was crazy! so, i sent one to rehab, fed two, sedated one, held one, took out 4 IV's, changed a few diapers, sent another one home, fetched lots of popsicles and ginger ale, sent another one home, had a heart to heart with an irrational homesick 6-year-old, got a new kid, did some paperwork, all while falling in love with 6 precious children...
my feet hurt and i didn't eat until 4:30pm...but it's worth it...AND everything got done! it's a miracle! thanks to my awesome co-workers who check PCA's and run flushes and document vitals..
someone looked at me today and said "you seem so calm..aren't you a new grad?"...i said yep. and then i said "no use in stressing out..it'll all get done" so i'm thankful for the peace that Jesus is to my heart especially in the midst of a day like today...
today was an insane day at the hospital...i started out with 5 kids (not too bad usually) but they were all pretty med heavy around the 8-9 o'clock hour so that got me started running...then one of my kids was scheduled to leave around 10 so paperwork had to be done for him and of course they scheduled a PICC placement on my other kid at the same time and needed me to do conscious sedation all while another kid was getting circumcised...whew! thankfully, the PICC got postponed because of someone else's mis-communication...i love it when it's not my fault! so then in the midst of all this, they call me for report on a new kid i was getting...meanwhile, they're altering the orders on all of my kids...crazy whirlwind of madness! AND an interviwee was shadowing me, which was great but i felt bad cause it was crazy! so, i sent one to rehab, fed two, sedated one, held one, took out 4 IV's, changed a few diapers, sent another one home, fetched lots of popsicles and ginger ale, sent another one home, had a heart to heart with an irrational homesick 6-year-old, got a new kid, did some paperwork, all while falling in love with 6 precious children...
my feet hurt and i didn't eat until 4:30pm...but it's worth it...AND everything got done! it's a miracle! thanks to my awesome co-workers who check PCA's and run flushes and document vitals..
someone looked at me today and said "you seem so calm..aren't you a new grad?"...i said yep. and then i said "no use in stressing out..it'll all get done" so i'm thankful for the peace that Jesus is to my heart especially in the midst of a day like today...
Saturday, June 6, 2009
i've been advancing..
I have been blown away by God's glory and who Jesus is this week...I went to the Advance conference...it's maybe the most God-honoring, Christ-centered thing I've ever been a part of...please, please listen to the talks...if you can only listen to one make it Mark Driscoll's talk on Ministry Idolatry...but be prepared to be ripped to shreds..
praise Jesus that He is faithful to show up when His people gather...and that He loves us despite our brokenness and our mess...and that He is committed to seeing His Kingdom move forward on this earth until EVERY nation has heard and is represented before the throne...
He is a GREAT God..
praise Jesus that He is faithful to show up when His people gather...and that He loves us despite our brokenness and our mess...and that He is committed to seeing His Kingdom move forward on this earth until EVERY nation has heard and is represented before the throne...
He is a GREAT God..
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