I went to a concert tonight that was so good for my heart...I was reminded how thankful I am that the Lord is a healer and a lover of sinners...because I'm broken and in disarray and I'm the chief of sinners...I was reminded how much I need Him to come in to all my broken places and mend me.
I've been in a funk for a while...mostly relational, or that's how it manifests itself anyways...a "funk" is code for the seasons when my time with Jesus is lacking and I become a selfish, withdrawn beast in my heart.
There's so much of my life that I love right now. I love my job, I love my friends, I've met some amazing new people that have blessed me tremendously in the past month...but something has just felt "off" lately...maybe it's transition to real adulthood, maybe it's deeper than that..
I need to get away. I need to be far from facebook and my cell phone and I need to talk. I just need to sit with someone and talk about heart issues face to face. I need to process in freedom and I just haven't had the chance to do that yet.
I can feel my heart just longing to really meet the Lord but there's a hesitancy that makes me so sad...I want to run with reckless abandon to His presence...I want that to be my essence.
I just feel dry. and I'd like to blame it on a few things but I think this time I'll just admit that more often than not the problem is that I'm being disobedient.
Lord, teach me to wait for you.