and so we walk...

I probably shouldn't write this right now due to a severe night shift hangover but I feel like writing and don't have the energy to get up and get my journal from my room. wow, I'm lazy.

Anyways, life is good. The past 2 months have been rough to say the very least but God is good and I feel like I'm surfacing on the other side a little wiser with a little more humility and an ever-increasing awareness of my lack of control and God's faithful keeping of my heart. There's this line from a JJ Heller song that plays in my head.."There is no place I can go where you don't already know how to reach right down and pull me out"...a truth that is sweet but hard to believe when you feel like the darkness is engulfing every tiny glimmer of hope. Circumstances suck sometimes and suffering is real but so is God. and He's more faithful and more constant and committed to giving life and pushing back the darkness and bringing freedom and joy in the midst of this fallen world. and I really do believe that even on the hard days. And God is still on His throne. And so we walk..

I'm not gonna lie, I'm weary. My heart feels like it's been soaked through, stepped on, tossed around, and wrung out. but God is making me new. and He makes beautiful things out of messes. and his ideas are much better than mine. every time.

how do people live in this world without knowing Jesus? I just don't get it..