Tomorrow's Scripture at church is Philippians 3:12-4:1 and since I'm reading it in the service, I decided to read through it a few times tonight. God decided I needed to hear a few things, too. The other day, I asked him if he could speak up a little cause these days I don't hear so well and I feel like I've been having trouble hearing him. Well, I kinda wanted him to tell me what to do about work and what to do with all of my stuff and the secret key to unlock the mystery that is my health (or lack thereof). Or maybe he could tell me where my husband is or how long I'll have to wait or when Diabetes will fade into the background and not be such a big deal. But, as usual, his thoughts are so much higher than mine, so He said this instead:
For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. Therefore, my brothers, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends!
I am so thankful that I don't live as an enemy of the cross of Christ. SO glad that I've been rescued. Yet, I still live like my God is my stomach and my glory is in my shame. My mind is stuck here in this fallen world, where nothing is new under the sun and we move from dust to dust, endlessly acquiring things that moth and rust will eventually destroy. I'm so discontent at times because I look around and my life is not what I thought it would be. There are so many things that I want that I don't have. A husband, kids, a job that I can do consistently without so much wrestling, a brain that works and produces serotonin, a benevolent donor, a pancreas that actually produces insulin, and on and on. The point is that my mind is so often wrapped up in trying to "figure out my life" that I forget that this isn't my home. Things are never going to be the way they should be on this side of eternity. We are in the between time, the "already but not yet." We are already saved from our sin and freed by the blood of Christ but we are not yet made whole, complete, and without sin the way we will be in the new heavens and the new earth. We live in the tension between knowing we've been made holy yet still struggling with sin. But one day, we will be glorified with Christ and our "lowly bodies" will be like his "glorious body!"
So, no, I don't have everything I want right now but when I step back for a minute and take my mind off my circumstances, I realize that I have everything I need. My god is not my stomach and my glory is not in my shame. Jesus paid for those things. At the cross, he bought me freedom from my stomach and my shame, the two things that bind me most tightly. Paul says that we should stand firm in the Lord by eagerly awaiting a Savior from heaven, the Lord Jesus Christ. I want to be eager not anxious, hopeful not depressed, expectant not avoidant. I want to walk and rest in the truth that he has everything under control and he's in the business of rescue.