i set out to explain the meaning of my last post but then i realized that there was so much that i could say about freedom that i'd be here typing for quite some time. Just the mention of the word freedom evokes such longing in my heart, it's the kind of longing where a knot builds up in your throat and your stomach jumps at the anticipation of something beautiful or exciting or long-awaited.
i was talking to a friend tonight about freedom and what it looks like or doesn't look like in the body of Christ these days. I think we miss out on a lot of freedom in Christ because of the expectations we put on ourselves, our time, our relationships. how often do we leave time with other believers feeling guilty that we didn't ask enough heart questions, or we didn't really make them feel loved, or we didn't "speak enough truth" to them? how often do we forget to just enjoy each other's company because we are so focused on "knowing" each other deeply or asking the right questions? it's amazing how much we bind ourselves to, even in the midst of being given the greatest freedom ever known to man. we are cherished and loved and sought after by the God of the universe, he did everything we could ever need to do and more and we're constantly worried that we aren't doing enough. we're foolish Galatians who think that we're perfecting ourselves by the flesh instead of being perfected by the Spirit..
I am so thankful for the little joys that God has blessed me with this week. it's been a hard week but the Lord has provided for me in ways that i wouldn't have even known to ask.
my goal the rest of this week (and maybe the rest of my life) is to pray for God to teach me what it looks like to really be free because of His strong love for me. I think I've lived long enough to realize that I can't figure that one out on my own.
right now, I know 2 things. 1. real freedom comes from Jesus. and 2. I'm a huge mess.