a story worth telling

I love words. It's a love that began early and one that is rooted deep. no matter what I do, I always come back to my love for words. I'm a writer. and I hesitate to say that because I'm not sure that what I write is worth anything to anyone but me, but I'm working on figuring out who I am and I think writing plays a significant role in my story.

I've been reading this book. It's called To Be Told by Dan Allender. I've read Allender before and loved him. He speaks my heart language. but this book is different than any others I've read. It's a book about story. It's about reading your story, tracing themes that God has woven through your life, literally writing your story on paper, telling your story, allowing others to join in and edit your story, and joining God in writing the rest of your story. That being said, there is so much that I want to share about this book but I have a LOT of processing to do before I can even think about it myself, much less share it. and let's be honest, I have a lot of writing to do!

I read some of it tonight and I only have one chapter left but I have already started going back to the beginning and slowly going through each chapter, processing the ideas and attempting to write parts of my own story on paper. It's hard and substantially painful to put the words on paper. Something about putting it on paper makes it more real and forces me to acknowledge and feel the things I felt. "There is something about seeing your hurts and struggles in black and white that focuses the heart rather than allowing it to turn and flee. We are more naked and needy before words that we write than perhaps anywhere else." (p.129) but I'm still the only one who reads my journal. The real work comes when I share it with someone else. It's gonna be a long time before that can even begin to happen. Hopefully God will give me the courage to do that one day.

there are so many quotes that I could share on here but this is one that really struck me tonight:

"He builds burdens in us through our own experience of being orphaned, exiled, and widowed. And then he uses those losses to deepen our war with him which, of course, he wins again and again as we surrender to his goodness. In turn, he sends us to live out our burdens with those who need us but who, in the long run, end up bringing us more that we could ever offer them." (p.177)

more to come..