It's amazing what a little perspective and a sense of humor can do for a person. Today Anne said "Perspective feels good, doesn't it?" Yeah, it does. It's kind of like the difference between drowning and being able to float. Perspective feels like coming up for air. Praise God that he loves to give his children perspective, whether it's the truth that this is not our home or the promise that Jesus is coming soon or the reality that because we look to him, our faces are NEVER covered with shame. I've lost a lot of hair in the past 6 months..and by "a lot" I mean over half. All the labs have been drawn, most of the possibilities explored and no one knows why. Pretty frustrating if I'm honest. BUT this morning I walked into my living room to see a painting my roommate had done of the first question from the Heidelberg Catechism. This might be my favorite Catechism question of all time:
What is your only comfort in life and in death?
That I am not my own but belong body and soul, in life and in death, to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil. He also watched over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head without the will of my Father in heaven: in fact, all things must work together for my salvation. Because I belong to him, Christ, by his Holy Spirit, assures me of eternal life and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready from now on to live for him.
How's that for some perspective?
I have the best therapist in the entire world. seriously. Mostly I feel like God has gifted her particularly to walk alongside me. I mean, she walks with so many other people but she has been the most precious gift that God has given me over the past few years. She helps me figure out what's going on in my heart, she makes me laugh when I need to, laughs with me when life is ridiculous, listens to me cry when I need to, reminds me often that she cares about me, prays for me, hugs me, speaks powerful truth into my life, is willing to say hard things when I need to hear them, but gently encourages me and challenges me in a brilliant way. She's helping me believe God, letting me borrow her faith when I don't have any of my own, and pushing me to rest in my need, knowing that Jesus is the meeter of all my needs. Not only is she awesome at her job, but she's also an incredible friend. The only issue I see with this situation is that I only get to spend 45 minutes with her a week. She's really popular for obvious reasons and I know God is using her to bring his Kingdom here in so many people's hearts. I miss her, though. 7 days is a long time and 45 minutes seems to be getting shorter and shorter. Too bad there's no remedy to this problem on the horizon..alas, I am praising God for his glorious provision in the form of Anne :)
In the past 3 weeks, God has given me another wonderful gift in the Fitts family. They have let me eat dinner with them every night and spend the night with them, entertained me without fail, given me purpose and a real place in their family, encouraged me relentlessly, and just generally made me feel so loved and like I belong. They have helped bring some stability and routine in the midst of a crazy unstable and scary season of life. What a precious gift. I have so many families who love me and accept me as one of their own and I could never even begin to express how grateful I am and how powerfully those relationships impact my heart and my understanding of the gospel.
Praise God for his commitment to helping me internalize the truth that He really does know me and love me deeply and his promise that he is restoring us and healing us and making all things new.